Sigh. I keep writing, in various ways, how I have to lay off the web. It's difficult, because I work on a laptop and some of my work requires research. I have a curious mind, and so there is always some wonderful, or banal, thing to discover. Then, of course, I have to see what my "friends" are doing on Facebook, and if that's not exciting enough, I can check Twitter, check friends' blogs, check the various websites I read. It's never ending. Honestly, I feel like I have a bit of a virtual headache.
Today I really went nuts on the Bruce Sterling/Virginia Hefernan New York Times thing. (OK, I am about two weeks behind the really cool people who are in tune with this stuff, but whatever.) It got me to wonder whether I really am impoverishing my brain in general with all the web consumption. I mean, in some ways, I feel like I learn alot. I expose myself to new ideas. I also tend to saturate myself in old ideas, or, ideas I already have. I saturate myself in information to validate or confirm these ideas. Or, I go in search of conflicting ideas to rile me up and about which I might react to in some way. Whatever the case may be, I am finding myself a little bit mentally exhausted.
After some surfing last week, I came across an excerpt from and decided to read Crunch: Why Do I Feel So Squeezed and Other Economic Mysteries. I found myself almost in tears on the bike at the gym because while it's very well-written in such a way that non-ecomomist lay people can understand, it's just so heavy. I want to be smart and learn new things, but I feel a little weighed down right now. I wish I was into romance novels or the Twilight books or something, but I'm just not. All the things I am attracted to are so...hard.
I came across another article today in the New York Times by Peggy Orentstein about how kids are growing up too fast and being pushed, evidenced in this case by homework being assigned in kindergarten. I was intrigued and found out more about Orenstein, and that she'd written a book several years ago that seems like it would be of interest to me Flux: Women on Sex, Work, Love, Kids, and Life in a Half Changed World. I could go get that out of the library, too. But, I wonder how that might weigh me down?
This happens to me, like, every day. There is some new thing I find out about online that I get interested in. It's cool, yes, but it's also making me tired, I think, and unable to just chill and play with my kid and be in my own life. It's like my brain is always somewhere else. Always.
And so, that is why today's "logo" is for something I think I need to try—the big blank, or a "supercleanse" of my brain and spirit. I use my daughter's eyes and mouth in the imagery because they are so beautiful and pure. I want to purify my own head. Somehow, I will try, try, try to refrain from doing any web surfing not related to something that needs to be done for work. For the week. Next week, I will be on vacation, so that will be even easier because I will be actually out and about exploring real things in the world. Now, off to sleep.
